My name is a secret.
I am from the great strange pit of a country none as Northern Ireland, Ulster, Ulaidh, The Black North or simply "hell" to those that have been born and presently live here.
I decided to start a blog not as a way to vent my spleen about anything and everything "me" but rather a way to vent my opinions that have so far stirred up mostly concern on Facebook.
Being none affiliated AKA "Don't give a fuck" about political, social, religious or racial fringes that permeate my beautiful green country... I thought I would stand back and observe the complete and utter nonsense that is spewed from politicians, spokesmen and so called "paramilitary groups" and believe me there is a lot of it to dredge through from day to day.
So that is an explanation of how it will roll and how I roll.
Don't expect a hourly update because I tend to forget I even have this blog ....
Yikes
K
Thursday, 6 June 2013
Thursday, 31 January 2013
Smart Phone seeks Retarded Owner GSOH
Recently bought myself a spiffing new "smart" phone. Not a "iPhone" or anything as banal as that. Just your every day, run of the mill smart phone with little squares of magic that make every one suddenly shell out £500 if they suddenly move a little faster than the previous little magic squares or apps. (as I keep getting told they are called) as opposed to "applications" which seems to confuse people even more than calling them "magic square boxes" for some reason.
Which leads me to my point:
Everyone and their playground lurking uncle has one of them!
There are people out there that seem to be
unable to open a door with out having an embolism,
count the fingers on their own hands unless they have at least nine friends to help
or breathe without the help of a ventilator.
Yet some how they have a "smart phone". Which has me wondering that maybe the next time I need to ask for directions; I will more than likely just ask to borrow the persons phone as opposed to ask the actual PERSON where the nearest off-sales is!
The iPhone seems to have tried to distance itself from the term; as it fairly obvious that anyone who will shell out £700 every 6 months for an extra row of "magic buttons" or a slightly faster "ZOOM !" function is obviously at a disadvantage intellectually to any electronic device, bar possibly 1981 Casio digital wrist watch of course.
But of course, they do have their advantages:
I can check my status update in bed...
I can watch porn under the covers with out worrying about rolling over after and the bed catching fire in while I sleep....( lap top internet legend unsubstantiated )
I think that's really about it.
I can also try and hack into random wireless networks that I stumble across and go all "HACKRZRULZ" and rob them of their bandwidth. Which in all honesty was a lot easier when people didn't know how to put passwords on their network!
I read some where also that you can buy an app. if you have say a heart condition or diabetes that you program with a magic word or a smart word that as you suddenly realise you should not have had that egg, cheese, bacon and sausage sandwich you can call out and it will ring the emergency services and relay any critical information such as address and illness. Which on the surface seems pretty sweet but what if when you called out the magic word instead of ringing the ambulance it began repeating the comical message tone you had downloaded, the "Jokers laugh" from the 1989 Batman movie, all the while vibrating ever closer to your hand and then vibrating away again just out of reach. The birth of AI is upon us and we don't even know... and it's not from the internet as prophesied in so many films of the past but then maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Anyway... if off to burn this thing before it tries to kill me in my sleep. Get me back my Nokia 5110 please Dr Brown.
K
Which leads me to my point:
Everyone and their playground lurking uncle has one of them!
There are people out there that seem to be
unable to open a door with out having an embolism,
count the fingers on their own hands unless they have at least nine friends to help
or breathe without the help of a ventilator.
Yet some how they have a "smart phone". Which has me wondering that maybe the next time I need to ask for directions; I will more than likely just ask to borrow the persons phone as opposed to ask the actual PERSON where the nearest off-sales is!
The iPhone seems to have tried to distance itself from the term; as it fairly obvious that anyone who will shell out £700 every 6 months for an extra row of "magic buttons" or a slightly faster "ZOOM !" function is obviously at a disadvantage intellectually to any electronic device, bar possibly 1981 Casio digital wrist watch of course.
But of course, they do have their advantages:
I can check my status update in bed...
I can watch porn under the covers with out worrying about rolling over after and the bed catching fire in while I sleep....( lap top internet legend unsubstantiated )
I think that's really about it.
I can also try and hack into random wireless networks that I stumble across and go all "HACKRZRULZ" and rob them of their bandwidth. Which in all honesty was a lot easier when people didn't know how to put passwords on their network!
I read some where also that you can buy an app. if you have say a heart condition or diabetes that you program with a magic word or a smart word that as you suddenly realise you should not have had that egg, cheese, bacon and sausage sandwich you can call out and it will ring the emergency services and relay any critical information such as address and illness. Which on the surface seems pretty sweet but what if when you called out the magic word instead of ringing the ambulance it began repeating the comical message tone you had downloaded, the "Jokers laugh" from the 1989 Batman movie, all the while vibrating ever closer to your hand and then vibrating away again just out of reach. The birth of AI is upon us and we don't even know... and it's not from the internet as prophesied in so many films of the past but then maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Anyway... if off to burn this thing before it tries to kill me in my sleep. Get me back my Nokia 5110 please Dr Brown.
K
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